


i'm not where you left me

by TheSushiMonster



Category: Bridgerton (TV), Bridgerton Series - Julia Quinn
Genre: Canon - TV, Canon Compliant, F/M, Season 2 Speculation, jealous Colin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-02
Updated: 2021-01-02
Packaged: 2021-03-10 20:41:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,732
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28493313
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheSushiMonster/pseuds/TheSushiMonster
Summary: "But in the end it was not his family that was different, or even London at all.It was him.He was different now."Colin returns from Greece and Penelope pretends she's fine.
Relationships: Colin Bridgerton/Penelope Featherington
Comments: 36
Kudos: 424





	i'm not where you left me

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt: " I was wondering if you could write a fic for Colin/Penelope where someone is trying to court Penelope and Colin gets really jealous and maybe the guys intentions with Penelope are not pure and Colin finds out! I would love to read it!"
> 
> Not full-blown courting, but I used this prompt as an excuse to kind of explore where I think both of these characters would be in a possible season 2. Also an excuse to throw Michael in even if it makes no sense for timeline. Oh and hints of bisexual Benedict Bridgerton, the hill I choose to die on.

Colin knew that it would be different once he returned to London. He knew his eldest brother would be searching for a wife and that Benedict would be more absorbed in his… _other_ pursuits. He knew Daphne would be married and may not be attending the same balls as the rest of the family. Eloise would be a new debutante, as uncomfortable as it made her.

But in the end it was not his family that was different, or even London at all.

It was him.

 _He_ was different now. 

And nothing made him more certain of this fact than the rolling acid in his gut as he stared across the ballroom.

Not many men asked Penelope Featherington to dance, but Colin knew it happened. Maybe he had never _seen_ it before? He had, of course, danced with her on occasion - and he knew Benedict and Anthony had as well… but right now, Penelope twirled on the dance floor, a bright smile on her face and it was not with either of his brothers. Nor him.

 _Merry Rake_.

That’s what they called him, this man holding Penelope. Michael Stirling. Colin may have been out of the country for months, but rumors never died. Hyacinth, after all, was his sister. Stirling’s dark skin and hair only made his sharp jaw seem more handsome - or at least, this what Lady Whistledown once said.

Colin’s eyes narrowed. The acid seemed to travel upwards to his throat. Instead of lingering on _what_ exactly was happening to him, he turned to his side. “Who is that?” he asked Eloise, snatching the half-eaten biscuit in her hand.

Eloise reached to steal her biscuit back, but Colin quickly stuffed his mouth. She narrowed her eyes before retrieving another biscuit and taking a bite, holding the remainder far from him. “Who is who?”

“That,” said Colin, nodding in the direction of Penelope. Of course, he knew exactly who Michael was, but he needed Eloise to be the one to interrupt them. “Dancing with Penelope.”

Eloise tilted her head, quickly finishing the rest of her biscuit, ignoring the crumbs falling onto her dress. Colin tried to hold back a smile - he knew Mum would be beside herself at Eloise’s disregard for manners. But he was glad _some_ things would not be changing. 

Unlike -

“Whoever it is, I am happy for her,” said Eloise, shrugging. “Anyone who recognizes how brilliant Penelope is must be applauded.” 

Colin supposed he did not disagree, but hearing Eloise say it, about this - this _rake_ … “But how do you know he has honorable intentions?”

“I guess I do not,” she said, her eyes now darting around the hall, clearly losing interest in the conversation. “Have you seen Benedict?”

“No, he’s been… busy.” Truly, Colin was not sure _what_ exactly Benedict was doing, but he suspected it was something neither Anthony or their mother would approve of. So naturally, Colin would say nothing. Eloise frowned and seemed to want to probe further, so he shook his head. “He left early to meet with some friends.” _A_ friend, Colin recalled, and if he was correct, not a woman either.

“Oh.” Her eyes momentarily studied him before handing him a sandwich. “Mother has left me to hassle our dearest older brother.” As he ate, Colin followed her gaze to where Anthony stood, jaw tight and eyes flashing, as he spoke to a group of women, Violet Bridgerton very clearly at work. “So I guess I am left with you.”

Colin’s eyes stray back to the dance floor. Penelope laughed brightly, Stirling beaming right back at her. Grinding his teeth, he grabbed yet another sandwich from a nearby table. He chewed, roughly, but Eloise watched him carefully so he quickly forced a smile onto his face. “Would you like to dance with me, dear Sister?”

Eloise laughed out loud.

If it was any other girl - woman - Colin might have been offended. But this was Eloise, so he rolled his eyes instead. “Very well, you can sulk here in the corner. I should dance with at least one Lady this evening or Mother will have my head.” With a nod, he slipped away, but not without grabbing one more sandwich to nibble on the go.

Colin thought about it - thought about asking Penelope to dance - for a full moment. But something - something in his gut, something raw and angry and unsettled - stopped him. So instead he grinned brightly at a young woman who introduced herself as Miss Sheffield - Edwina, she clarified, because apparently there were two - and led her to the dance floor.

And if his eyes strayed to the corner of the room where Penelope now stood, well, it was only because they were dancing.

* * *

Penelope thought she had gotten over Colin Bridgerton.

At the very least, she thought she could lie to herself and pretend to be perfectly normal and unaffected the next time she had to speak to him.

But of course, the moment Eloise told her that Colin had returned to London, her heart leapt to her throat and those long ago feelings - affection, longing, guilt - rushed through her. Penelope liked to believe she could keep those emotions from others - she still had her secrets, after all, was still lying to everyone as Lady Whistledown. But somehow she could pretend that life was fine, that she was moving on, and that Colin was just her best friend’s brother.

But then Michael Stirling asked her to dance and Colin was standing across the room, ignoring her.

Mr. Stirling was nice enough - charming, to be sure, but nothing really compared to Colin. But that wasn’t fair, not really, because this was _Penelope_ and no one could ever compare to Colin.

Unfortunately.

But Penelope forced herself to relax, to take a measure of comfort in Mr. Stirling’s company. He was funny and smart and charming and she could actually hold a conversation as they twirled around the room. He was clearly dancing with her to be polite - something she was used to - but she appreciated it nonetheless.

When he bowed at the end, placing a chaste kiss on the fingers of her glove, he grinned. “A pleasure, Miss Featherington.” Penelope had smiled back and thanked him and he had waved off her appreciation. “I have had a better time during this one dance and conversation with you than with most women, so it is I who is grateful.” 

Penelope had blushed and retreated to her corner, the perfect spot to see and hear everything.

So when Colin finished dancing with Edwina Sheffield and headed in her direction, she had plenty of time to prepare.

“Miss Featherington,” said Colin, bowing. “How are you?” His familiar smile was still there, a bit easier now and a bit brighter - almost like he’d been training and practicing and honing in on the charming parts that made him, _him_ and becoming just a bit - _more_.

It was deadly, but Penelope wasn’t sure she liked it.

“I’ve been well,” she said, with a curtsey. She looked at his shoulder. “How were your travels?”

“Excellent. I had - ” he paused abruptly, and she had to look at him then. When her eyes caught his, he smiled a bit softer, a bit warmer. “I had a wonderful time.”

“Eloise shared some of your letters with me. I hope you don’t mind.”

“Of course not.” Colin kept his hands behind his back, but seemed to bend down just a bit to keep his gaze locked onto hers. “I have some excellent tomatoes to give you as well.”

Penelope tried not to smile, she really did. But - with Colin _looking_ at her like that… “I’m sure they’re lovely,” she said instead. “I’m glad you enjoyed traveling.”

“And it is all thanks to you.” Colin tilted his head and a lock of hair slipped in front of his forehead. Penelope had to clench her fists to keep them at her side. “I think you would enjoy Greece.” She smiled respectfully, holding back the defensive response almost on her lips - _not that I would ever be allowed to go_. Colin frowned slightly. “I think I might travel to France next.” This time Penelope allowed her smile to be a bit warmer - she was happy for him, of course, because he got to live his dreams, but that tiny bit of resentment twisted with the guilt of her secret in her heart. 

Maybe she couldn’t hide her emotions as well as she thought because Colin frowned deeper, even as she spoke. “That sounds wonderful, Mr. Bridgerton. I wish you continued safe travels.”

There was a flash of _something_ on his face - disappointment or hurt or maybe nothing at all - before Colin’s face slid into what she knew best - happy smiles and easy grins. “Mother is beside herself, and while I am glad to visit everyone, that - that _need_ to explore more.” His small smile was now more genuine and Penelope’s heart flipped. “It’s indescribable.”

She understood - she really did. The rush of accomplishment when she put quill to paper, when the perfect line came to her and she scribbled it down. When the whispers of Lady Whistledown reached her - from across town, across the street, even in her _own_ home. It was truly incredible and yet - indescribable.

Colin still smiled down at her, but he cleared his throat as if uncomfortable. Penelope finally looked away from him again and saw Eloise across the hall. Colin followed her gaze. “You should rescue her from dying of boredom,” he said, not looking at her. “She might melt into the carpet.”

Penelope laughed. “I think I will do so, yes.” She glanced at him - just barely for a moment, for one last peek before he likely disappeared again - before curtseying. “Be well, Mr. Bridgerton.”

She left before she could hear his response.

* * *

Colin watched her go, leave him for Eloise, his response still stuck in the air between his lips.

 _Be well, Penelope_.

The acid was gone now, but the residue was still bitter, rusty. The itch - the one healed by riding in the countryside and standing on beaches and trying new food - returned, a longing force dragging his feet to move. He needed to leave, to get out of London. Soon.

He may have changed, he may have been different now - but some things were still the same.

So a few short weeks later, Colin was gone.

**Author's Note:**

> twitter @pensbridgerton and tumblr @pensbridgrton
> 
> i have more drabbles/ficlets on my tumblr under my "bridgerton fic" tag


End file.
